The other day I finally got up the nerve to tell off someone who really pissed me off about a year ago. I know, I shouldn’t have waited so long but… I hate telling people off, and I firmly believe that patience and kindness are more effective methods of social interaction than hostility. And usually they are… just not always. So I told them how I was affected by what they did, in a letter. And it sure did feel good. I did this despite knowing that a) they will probably still not get it, and b) even if I ever do get a response it will be something negative.
But I feel, finally, like even the residue of all that bad stuff is leaving me: an emotional house-cleaning, of sorts.
I don’t know why but lately I’m finding myself with less and less tolerance for bad behavior. Specifically the kind where someone is completely oblivious to the fact that the inevitable and entirely foreseeable outcome of their actions is harm to someone else. I’m all for asserting oneself and going after what one wants but I do feel one needs to remember that there are other people in the universe too. By which I mean, sure, get what you want but not by taking someone else’s.
But then, I really hate passing judgement over others because I don’t think I know absolutely everything about every possible situation and what if I’m wrong? And so I usually let things go for probably too long, thinking people will just realize things on their own, given enough time. There is, however, a type of person who simply does not ever realize how their actions affect others. Instead they believe you’re weak and stupid and deserve what they’re doing to you if you’re letting them get away with it. (Just look at politics: how many oblivious and pushy people get elected to office mainly by virtue of being louder and more unpleasant than the rest of us but really not much else?) So lately I’ve come to the conclusion that letting things go with pushy and oblivious people is altogether the wrong thing to do.
I have to confess that somehow, being pregnant is what brought this home to me. Oddly, I’ve heard from other pregnant women too that they suddenly able to tell people off better than ever before. I am not yet completely sure why this is but I’m hoping it has something to do with getting ready to protect my child, if it should ever come to that. I don’t want to be a helicopter parent, not at all. But there’s something about the helplessness of a child that makes me feel there are situations in which one needs to stick up for them, even in ways one would never quite think to stick up for oneself.
Post a Comment